RELATIONSHIPS...2

The term psychology here implies two principle elements, they are MENTAL and EMOTIONAL. That is a relationship is comprised of a psychological bridge between two individuals and this psychological bridge is comprised of MENTAL and EMOTIONAL components.
The mental component comprises of intellectual agreement is very dry and business like. So much so that if mental component alone is present (and emotional component is lacking) a relationship cannot be called as a relationship it is a mere symbiosis, an arrangement for convenience of existence just as is seen in the animal kingdom between various interdependent species.
For example one has a mental relationship with his boss, his driver, his building security guard, his domestic help, his cook etc... These are all arrangements for convenience of existence there is a well defined intellectual agreement between each pair. The boss requires us accomplish the tasks as per instruction and to which he shall reward us with a promotion or pay hike. The cook needs to do timely and good cooking for us for which we shall pay him his salary. The security guard needs to take special care for our letters and arrange for our car parking and for that we shall reward him with an occasional tip here and there. These are all examples of mental relationships; these are no more than business deals and contracts but are relationships none the less. There is no margin for error and these relationships operate within a very narrow “margin of tolerance” that is if we were to under-perform or fail to deliver the expected results the promotion from the boss would turn into a sharp reprimand or even a termination. If the domestic help takes leave too often she will be fired etc... That is whenever one member fails to accomplish his/her expected role he or she is immediately rebuked or punished for that.
And it is probably necessary too since the world of market, money, power, business and industry have nothing emotional to them they have all originated in the mind and are run by it for creating a convenient living.
But there is a problem that has arisen, slowly due to continuous exposure and lingering the world of market, money, power& business has entered our homes and our hearts. It has completely overpowered and overshadowed our EMOTIONAL existence and now we are doing business even at home and in our personal lives. This is a more sophisticated and subtle kind of business though. We have become calculative; when we “invest” ourselves into a relationship we automatically have “expectations” for “returns”. But all this is very subtle nothing is brought out, nothing is on the face but there is a deep undercurrent, an undercurrent of “expectations” which governs every single thing we say and do. We are no more naturally friendly, intimate and joyous with the other person instead we mould and manipulate our behaviour towards the other person so as to obtain a response from him or her that matches our “expectations”. Children behave the way parents want them to just to manipulate them into buying the video-game or the bicycle they want. Wives act lovingly to manipulate husbands into fulfilling their demands. Husbands surprise wives and act caring in order to extract more independence and freedom. But all this is a farce, a sham, a mockery and nothing else. Sadly it is no more than a complicated symbiosis of animal kingdom, an arrangement for convenience of existence.
So deeply and completely has this disease of superficial mental relationships penetrated our entire lives that it is a struggle to quote analogies and examples of the pure emotional relationships. But all is not lost the selfless and loving care of parents towards their children is a deeply emotional relationship and it is one sided from parents alone since the child is so incapable physically, mentally and emotionally. On rare occasions there occurs a loving relationship between two individuals which is chiefly if not totally based on emotions. There are relationships between children and parents, between brothers and sisters that are chiefly emotional and these are the ones that richness to one’s life and make it worth living.
In these loving emotional relationships intellectual agreement is not a major priority. The two individuals or the group (as in a family) may hold diametrically opposite opinions on various issues of common concern but that in no way changes their love and respect for each other. Each is aware and respectful of others point of view (though not in agreement with it) and the relationship thrives on love, friendliness, openness and intimacy.