Suppose we go to a beautiful hill station with the perfect environment as we would like to. We happened to enjoy a marvelous sunset over there. As we witness the grandeur and magnificence of nature suddenly our inner chatter of unceasing words within our social intelligence ceases and we, almost by accident, are pushed into our deeper self (the innate intelligence) a genuine stir of feelings occurs in our innate intelligence as we connect with the nature around us, an “instantaneous awareness of the present moment as it happens”. By the time the sunset is over and we are ready to head back we have already converted our feelings into an experience, a gray (transition) zone between innate and social intelligence, by LABELING it as good (a good experience).if at this moment we remain silent and contained within ourselves we would be able to relive the experience and continue to experience similar, if not the same, joy we were experiencing during the actual event (sunset). But by the time we reach home (or the holiday resort) we have already transferred the whole incident from our innate intelligence to our social intelligence as a memory in the format of words “oh it was such a nice experience at the view point, the sunset between the hills, chirping of birds, the pleasant breeze etc......” etc... But this word document of memory has the attachment of experience tagged along with it. So every time we hear or think (words, word document) of that sunset view point automatically the linked attachment of experience also opens up in our system, without our knowledge of course, and fills our system up with that pleasant experience we had had. And here begins the fundamental error. Now we start believing that going to that view point will give us pleasure. We start visiting the view point often, but with every passing visit the intensity of our pleasurable experience seems to be reducing and yet we do come back with those same words “oh it was such a nice experience at the view point, the sunset between the hills, chirping of birds, the pleasant breeze etc......” reeling in our heads. Though we keep repeating these same words, just a layer underneath them (words) we are acutely aware of the fact that it does not feel the same, the intensity, the joy, the contentment all of it seems to be fading away. By now the visit to the view point has become more of a ritual, it is a drag and no joy or pleasant experience emerges out of it. Slowly we start feeling that the place is not that great after all, we don’t just stop at that we revisit our memory files and make corrections even there. Reducing or even falsifying the intensity of previous experiences, thus creating conflicts and contradictions within ourselves.
Well.... what just happened with the view point happens with almost everything in our life and sadly that everything includes our relationships too.
