Once we successfully convert a living person into a dead memory we have opened the Pandora’s Box for ourselves. Firstly this golden memory is chiefly composed of nothing but our fantasies about how a person should be (be it husband, wife, friend, brother, in-laws etc...) and partly of edited reality which we have chosen and handpicked to corroborate our pre-existing ideas about them. Secondly no living person can be frozen and reduced to a bunch of dead memories. We had seen in our discussion on the cosmic laws, the four principle forces of nature CREATION, MAINTENANCE, CONSTANT CHANGE (EVOLUTION) and REJUVENATION (DEATH) are busy unrelentingly changing each and everything in the cosmos from galaxies, stars, rivers, rocks and mountains to trees, animals and humans. So how then is it ever possible for a living and ever changing person to continuously live up to a bunch of dead memories and ideas???
We do not understand this principle fallacy (mistake) of ours and then go about declaring that the other person used us, cheated us etc... It is we ourselves cheating us and nobody else. Please understand if a person is continuously able to live up to our golden memories and ideas about him / her then he/she too is dead and lifeless (not necessarily physically but emotionally and mentally) like the gold statues of the king, since living people will be vibrant and changing. If he / she is able to do that then be very sure that we, like the king Midas, have successfully reduced them to a figment of our fantasy and rendered them lifeless.
Instead of intelligently understanding the universal fact that “CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT THING, NOTHING ELSE CAN REMAIN CONSTANT” we hang on to our golden memories and instead of editing and updating them to the new changes we register “DEVIATIONS”.
Simply put we always cross-refer a person’s present behavior with our golden memory track record about him / her (in case of people whom we dislike it can be called as “stone sculptured memories” but they also function in the same way as the golden memories by not allowing us to see a person afresh in the present moment as he is) then we keep a score. Any behavioral pattern falling out of purview of the expected golden memory pattern is a “DEVIATION”. These deviations can be good or they can be bad.
Now comes the height of cunningness, driven by our greed to obtain and sustain happiness in our lives via the means of the other person we make decorative editions in our golden memory with the new “GOOD DEVIATIONS”, raising the bar of our expectations from the other person further and further higher. But we purposefully fail to do any addition or editing about the “NEGATIVE DEVIATIONS”. Instead we just keep a record of them (negative deviations) in the “THIS IS WRONG, IT SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING LIKE THIS” folder. As time passes by more and more entries are registered into the “this is wrong, it should not be happening like this” folder and when we compare our golden memory with the current records in the “this is wrong, it should not be happening like this” folder we get overwhelmed and now we begin our drama of declaration of being cheated and used...... etc...
So we can clearly see that what we do in the name of love is nothing but fooling ourselves and choking the other person and then putting the blame on each other.
