BUT WHY ?? 4

From this place of lightness and clarity I feel myself honestly ….. cherish myself lovingly…..and trust myself absolutely.

And then I ask……….

“What is it that I want?” ……………….

Interestingly though I did not ask “who am I ?” as the first and foremost question …….
Which actually set forth this entire discussion (an inner journey of sorts) into motion because it seems irrelevant ……..so obvious that it seems almost out of context here .
Even though I am still at a loss to offer a verbal or locution (based) mediated definition using words to clearly identify myself...... my sense of self is in an overwhelming “eureka moment”.

So I may not have the precise equation to convey the idea or feeling to anyone else but in this flash of brilliance I know ….. clearly, deeply and absolutely who am I !!!!

So the relevant question now is not “who am I ?” rather “What is it that I want?”

BUT WHY ?? 3

Okay …..sounds plausible …..but what if all of this is put together at once (i.e. body, sensory perceptions, thoughts, feelings, emotions) would that not be me ???

Of course with such a bombardment of inputs and so many processes (i.e. body, sensory perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions) running independently and interdependently it would seem difficult not to identify with the entire process as me. Especially when stakes are involved…..
But what if I for a moment step back from the stakes ……no need to dub them as real or unreal …… just stepping back …….. It’s like saying to oneself

“I will not be siding with the outcomes …..let me see what happens …. I am open to anything …… I am not invested into this story of my life for the (say like) next 1 hour or 0.5 hrs.”

This singular (honest) thought of disinvestment from the story of my life is a phenomenon ally liberating step. Simultaneously synchronized with the taking of this decision is an instantaneous feeling of Freedom and Upliftment.
So I look at myself, my condition, my environment, my circumstances etc …..everything about me as I would look at someone else ….a total stranger (not even a family member, friend, relative or an acquaintance as we are very much invested in them and hardly ever see them as they are)….in a very detached ….. disinvested manner.

Having stepped back from the stakes ……. Becoming disinvested from the current “story of my life” ……. Something very strange is experienced…..
Everything seems to be happening …..the bodily processes….the sensory perceptions….thoughts…feelings and emotions……all of it seems to be happening of itself. The tight and defensive grip of “I ness” seems to loosen and probably that is what is felt as a whiff of freedom and upliftment .
It is from this vantage point of clarity that I can come to know myself not otherwise. As would be seen and experienced from this liberating position that in a state of identification with the “story of my life” and all its ingredients (i.e. body, sensory perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions) I am actually operating from merely a psychosocial conditioning implanted unto me by my socio-cultural environment (family, school, college, work place, peers, media, society in general)
Other than the body and its processes and sensory perceptions everything else begins to feel alien. All the unnecessary burden of do’s and don’ts, should’s and shouldn’ts , desires and fears, aspirations and sense of stagnation….. vaporizes into nothingness.
From this place of lightness and clarity I feel myself honestly ….. cherish myself lovingly…..and trust myself absolutely.

BUT WHY ?? 2

At this juncture let us begin with what is within the ambit of our own personal experience and not what has been hosed down our guts by both science and religion.
“Who” precisely I may not know (i.e. I may not be able to give a verbal or locution mediated definition using words)……but that “I exist” that much is my experience for sure and it doesn’t require any scientific or religious validation.

I exist I am told since my birth…..okay …….. So where was I before my so called birth?? And where would I then be after my so called death???

My existence is a constant experience even when I am unaware of my body such as in dream and deep sleep…….

So I can come to safely assume that this feeling of “I ness”, my existence, though is deeply associated with the body in waking state is not the finality of me.

I cannot say that I am the sensory perceptions (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) the thoughts or the feelings as they are too fleeting in nature and besides they too are experienced by someone who is aware of them as well as their alterations …..i.e. in deep sleep I do not experience sensory perceptions, thoughts and emotions and yet I exist….
So sensory perceptions, thoughts, feelings and emotions too cannot be my finality…….

Okay …..sounds plausible …..but what if all of this is put together at once (i.e. body, sensory perceptions, thoughts, feelings, emotions) would that not be me ???

BUT WHY ?? 1

But why these questions in the first place???

“Why should I go through all this botheration don’t I already have enough???”

“What does all this lead up to??” and these are perfect questions …… one may call them the “questions of premise”….as they have within them (hidden) the capacity to alter the premise of life ……. The core point of view that compels us to persist with this existence despite so many complaints, unfulfilled desires, fears, doubts and the endless barrage of negativities such as boredom, listlessness, frustration etc .
Yes these negative emotions and experiences are interspersed with occasional bouts of joy, exhilaration, achievement, freedom, love etc but the ratio seems too unfairly skewed to continue existing and yet we all manage to persist existing , to continue…….

So what is it that makes us continue …… is it hope? And hope for what? And by whom? i.e. who is hoping and for what ??

So all this seems to build up again towards those unanswerable questions (these questions are actually techniques or psychological tools for a sincere seeker)
“who am I ?”

“what is all this (the entire phenomenon of time, space, matter and energy)?”

“When and where did it all begin?”

“Where do I fit into all of this (if at all)?”

Finally
“Do I and all this (the entire phenomenon of time, space, matter and energy) have any purpose ?”

“If so then what?”

THE CRITICAL JUNCTURE

…….And this is a very critical juncture …can I define my “current Psychological location” precisely or Not??? Because it is at this conflux …it is at this juncture that two very distinct paths arise.
As for the one who can clearly define his/her “current Psychological location” the proverb “well begun is half done” suits aptly but for the one who is struggling to define his “current Psychological location” it would be apt to use the proverb “better late than never”.
This juncture is a very critical one as it is here that the religions are born ……..philosophies sprout…… disciplines germinate …….techniques are invented……
The juncture where the answer to the question is in a clear cut binary form ……..black or white without any shades of grey …. And the question is
Can I define my “current Psychological location” precisely??

There can only be a yes or a no to this question for an answer maybe’s have absolutely no place over here…..
For those who have said a YES to it and are in a position to clearly define their “current Psychological location” precisely only one (rather two) more question needs to be asked and that is
“Do you like it there where you are?” If the answer to this question is Yes then we need to put a full stop to this conversation by saying “great …..enjoy it…. and continue feeling the way you do now and follow this feeling ….allow it to lead you to all your decisions and actions”
But if the answer to this question is a No then one final question needs to be asked “Then where would you rather be in your psychological universe? i.e. how would you like to feel?..........what feelings would you want to feel within you?”
Love, joy, bliss, freedom, worthiness, capability …….etc
But why these questions in the first place???