TOWARDS THE BIG PICTURE

Now let us enter into the mechanics of the mind of this girl (or boy) who has undergone the bitter experience of being cheated in a relationship. The situation of being cheated arises in her life. This situation is initially just PERCEIVED. Now, no matter how outrageous or extraterrestrial this may seem but the fact is that the situations by themselves are just situations, totally bland and totally neutral it is we who judge and TAG them as good or bad, pleasant or bitter etc according to our MENTAL-SETUP. A situation is initially perceived neutrally without any TAGGING and hence is incapable of generating any response, since unless TAGGED and hence automatically linked to a generic emotional response of that particular tag, no situation in itself is capable of producing any joy or pain. Unless tagged and linked to the corresponding emotion. After PERCEPTION the mind enters into “SORTING, CROSS-REFERENCING & TAGGING” mode, these three are almost a simultaneous processes, SORTING is a more general activity in which the situations are very broadly classified into good or bad (that’s the basic fundamental, though they may be classified as correct or incorrect, success or failure, etc..One of the opposites) once sorted into a particular category of opposite (that is good or failure or correct etc...) it is immediately CROSS-REFERENCED with the existing memory record system and automatically TAGGED. Let us understand this entire three step process with another example, before we proceed any further, in a scenario of arranged marriages if a boy rejects a girl then immediately after perception of this situation, by the girl, it would be sorted into bad or failure category with the help of cross-referencing with the existing memory record system of the mind, which would identify this situation either through previous personal experiences or borrowed ideas from the socio-cultural milieu around it .This cross-referencing would immediately christen this situation as painful either through previous personal experience or via borrowed ideas embedded in the MENTAL-SETUP. Automatically the situation gets TAGGED as an emotional trauma and hence the generic response to the tag of emotional trauma which may be suffering or crying or depression would get generated. But in a similar scenario of rejection where the girl is not interested in getting married and is being forced by the family to do so (for whatever reason, career,lover,disinterest etc...) same situation of rejection would be sorted as good or success, with the help of cross-referencing with the existing memory record system of the mental-setup which would hail this as a favourable outcome and hence tag it as pleasant or enjoyable outcome and hence generate the generic response of pleasure or relief or happiness. So we see very clearly that situations by themselves are neutral the same situation is capable of generating two starkly opposite responses (suffering as well as pleasure and relief). The response generated depends totally on our mental-setup.